THE BIRTH OF DELPHI

THE HOME BIRTH OF MY MAGICAL BABY NUMBER 3

Hello my darling Delphi Beatrix. So, you've officially been in the outside world for as long as you were growing inside me. 41 weeks! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write your birth story, but Mummy has had her hands full with you, your brother and sister, keeping you all safe during a global pandemic as well as helping lots of other parents prepare for the beautiful births of their babies!

But now is your time my love. Here's your story! Spoiler alert - it was one of the most magical, intense and incredible nights of my life!

I absolutely loved feeling you grow and keeping you safe inside my tummy. Although I was desperate to meet you, I was in no rush for you to come out. I trusted that you would come when you were ready... I made a hair appointment for the day that I was told you 'should' arrive as, like your brother and sister, I knew you'd want to stay inside a little longer.

So, imagine my surprise when I felt a great big stitch as I was walking to the hairdressers! Luckily your Daddy was with me as the tightenings in my tummy really took my breath away and I needed to sit on a bench to feel better. I cancelled my appointment (the hairdresser was very understanding!) and we slowly made our way back up the big hill to home.

But you had other plans. You weren't ready to be born quite yet. I think maybe you were just shifting yourself into a more comfortable position as I had a whole week of these sensations that were off and on throughout the day and night...it was quite clever of you really as I think it made me practice all of my breathing exercises and understand that it was our bodies combined, warming up for your birth day.

Fast forward 6 days and I was starting to wonder when these practice surges (which is what mummy's uterus was experiencing in preparation for your being born) were going to turn into the real deal. The night before you were born, your Daddy and I had put your brother and sister to bed and settled down to watch some TV. We were re-watching a brilliant film called A Star is Born and as a treat, ordered a Thai Curry. I asked them to make it a bit spicier than usual as some people say that can help nudge things along when waiting for babies to be born!

It was around 10pm and Daddy was dozing on the sofa as he often does at that time of night when I started to feel like you were readying yourself. My tummy filled with nervous excitement and I tapped Daddy's knee and told him what was happening. He laughed and thought I was joking as I was acting very calm. When he realised I was being serious I could see him switch into his 'protector' role and we messaged our Doula and Birth Photographer to tell them things were starting.

At this point I was feeling fine and enjoying the powerful sensations, visualising the work that was going on inside my body to prepare for your birth. I knew I needed to keep calm and try to sleep, so I grabbed my TENS machine (which is a very cool machine that helps to produce magical pain relieving hormones called Endorphins, I'll teach you all about them one day). Luckily all of our bags were prepared for this day so I knew where to find everything and popped the TENS machine on to familiarise myself with the sensations. I really enjoyed this bit of tuning in to the rhythm of us working together in our labour of love, and laid down on the bed to try and get some rest. I surrounded myself with the smell of lavender and Clary sage and cuddled my pregnancy pillow on the bed, imagining that very soon it would be you snuggled in to my chest...

I think that the warm up week we'd had of practice surges might have done a lot more work than I'd realised as after only a couple of hours of breathing through some intense sensations, I realised I was further along our path to birth than I thought. Your Daddy had been in contact with your Nanny (my own Mum), Hannah our Doula/photographer and our midwife to tell them it was time to come over. I was so pleased when I heard that the midwife who was going to be with us was the lovely lady Ruth Fidge. How lucky we were that the most experienced midwife was on call the night we went into labour! Ruth had been so supportive of us choosing our homebirth, even though it was out of guidelines (because your enthusiastic older brother had given me a bit of a tear when he was born when he flew out with his arm up in superman position - but you know what he's like, he hasn't slowed down since!) I felt so confident that we were going to be surrounded by a warm hug of love and support over the coming hours, which allowed me to go deeply into my zone, listening to our relaxation audios and breathing through each and every surge. Me and you working together, whilst Daddy was downstairs getting the pool and our front room ready. Our midwife popped in to see us to check you heart rate every now and when I saw Hannah and your Nanny had joined us, my shoulders relaxed and I knew that everything was going to be absolutely ok. I wonder if you remember Hannah? She was the lady who captured all of the amazing pictures of your birth so that I can show you what happened on the day you were born...she's the lady who filled me up with, light, warmth and love from the moment I first met her and continued to support us all throughout that magical night and ever since. 

It must have been about 3am when I decided it was time to go downstairs and get in the birth pool. It was the same pool that your big brother Jasper had been born into, and the familiar smell of the plastic filling the air took me right back to the incredible New Year's Eve night when I birthed him into the world... How lucky I felt to be having the opportunity to experience the power of giving birth again!

We spent the next couple of hours moving, swaying and crawling our way around the warm water of the pool. The room was beautifully calm, my whole world was right there under the roof of our home and visualising holding you in my arms and your brother and sister joining us downstairs when they woke up was powering me through each and every surge. Whenever I had a moment of doubt, I just had to look over to your Nanny or to Hannah, who were both able to reassure me that they were there, holding me, just by looking into my eyes. Hannah had also brought her essential oils and any time she saw me tense up, would smudge my collar bone with a scent I now know to be Serenity (I've bought so much since as the smell reminds me so much of your birth night). The grounding and safe touch of your Daddy giving me some soft stroking massage on my back filled me up with the magical mix of hormones needed to keep our labour right on track. 

I was using something called Gas and Air to help with the really strong sensations that I was feeling, and Daddy had put A Star is Born soundtrack on and some music by an old country singer called Willie Nelson too... The music, gas and air combined with the power of birth were a potent, heady concoction transporting me to another world outside my body. I think I must have been losing a bit of energy as I remember Hannah giving me a spoonful of honey - I can just taste the sugary sweetness giving me a hit of energy as I write this. The wonderful humans I'd chosen to surround us with were reading every look on my face and responding to it without me having to say anything at all! 

I remember leaning over the side of the pool and looking across to my own Mum during the bit of birth called transition, where you don't think you can possibly go on anymore - your Daddy put his face to mine and told me I was safe and that, teamed with my own mum's soft hand on my arm, was all I needed to give me my second wind to dig deeper into our labour.

Before I knew it, it was time to start breathing you down and out into the world. I remember hearing Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper singing a song called 'Shallow' as I start to gently but powerfully breathe you down.  I could feel you rocking your way down towards the water and I am certain that I even started to moo like a cow! What a sound that must have been for you to hear! Our amazing midwife was poised ready to help if she was needed but she could tell that we were doing fine all by ourselves so sat quietly, but reassuringly by our side. She asked me if I'd like to feel your head so I turned around and reached down and felt the softness of your little head against my hand... This gave me all the strength I needed to wait for the next surge to birth your head into the world. This bit took quite a while as your little hand was up by your face (just like your brother's) but you were much more patient than him and we worked gently together, just you and me to ease you out. Head, then shoulders and then reaching down, bringing your slippery body up on to the warmth of my chest! We'd done it! I closed my eyes. I think I was in total shock as I looked at your Daddy's elated face looking down at you and me in total awe! 

And just like that, at 6.39am on 23rd September, the Autumn Equinox, you were born. Over 9lbs of your beautiful, squishy, newborn freshness. I held you for over an hour in the warmth of the pool, allowing you in your own time to find your way to my breast. Nothing was rushed, there was no pressure. It could have just been you and I in that room but we were surrounded by our bubble of love as we listened to our music and breathed each other in. I was surging with Oxytocin as you latched to my breast and had your first suckles. 

It was then that your big sister came downstairs to see you in my arms in the pool! I will never forget her face! It was amazing to see her lock eyes on her baby sister for the first time - she came over to us and looked down at your umbilical cord, telling me she thought it looked like a wiggly worm!!! Seeing my two girls together like this was indescribable. Your sister had waited patiently for so long to meet you!

I was apprehensive of the next bit of labour. The Third Stage. It was during this part that I'd needed to go to hospital when I was giving birth to your brother, but I could sense there was absolutely no panic in our birthing space this time around. Everyone in our team had been briefed to respect and protect our birth environment post birth, knowing it was just as important for everything to remain quiet and calm to birth your placenta... After an hour or so of waiting (although I had no idea how long it had been as no one even mentioned the time) I passed you to your Daddy for you both to enjoy some skin to skin bonding and Ruth and Hannah helped me to stand up...wrapping me in my dressing gown to keep me warm. I told them I thought I needed a wee and Ruth said “Go for it!” as she held a bowl between my legs. Emptying my bladder like that was just what my body needed to pass your placenta which literally plopped out - it was the most satisfying feeling (aside from birthing you of course!).

I was helped onto our sofa and you were passed back to me. We'd only been apart for a short while but I was so relieved to have you back in my arms! Ruth checked me over and covered us in our towels and blankets whilst Daddy and Hannah found my pyjamas. By this time your big brother had woken up and all the family bundled on the sofa to look at you and meet you! Jasper was so excited to see you and booped you on the nose. He even gave you one of his toys, he really is very good at sharing! It was so wonderful to have my 3 children together in that oment and it was then that I knew you were the missing, final piece of our puzzle. Our magic number 3! 

After the midwives had cleared everything up and we'd said our emotional goodbyes to Nanny and Hannah for the time being, we all crawled into Mummy and Daddy's giant bed upstairs to snooze, cuddle and enjoy the first days of your life together as a family of five! If I could travel back in time to that moment I would visit those special days after your birth over and over again...

Thank you Delphi for making your birth story truly incredible and for choosing me as your Mummy. I hope you enjoyed the story of your birth...I promise you, this is just the very beginning of a life filled with love, warmth, safety and laughter. You have the world at your feet, my girl.

Love Mummy x